Long Way
by Maroon 5 222
Summary: My Version of the scene between Birkhoff and Alex in 3x08. Strong Language R
1. Doesn't Mean The Disease Goes Away

**A/N: Ok so this is my version of the scene between Birkhoff and Alex in 3x08**

**Long Way Chapter 1: Doesn't Mean The Disease Goes Away**

"Ok. This measures theta waves. You jacked into the environmental system. The deeper you meditate, the more the lights will dim, although I still don't get why you're into meditation all of a sudden." He said trying to figure out Alex's motive

"Division meds, I was hooked on did a number on my blood pressure. Doctors say I have to get it down to an acceptable level and Ryan won't sign off until they do, so…" She finished explaining and he finally understood.

"Let me ask you something. Why'd you start using again?" He asked knowing it would be the first of many questions.

"I didn't want to get benched. I want to be out there in the fight." Sure she sounded heroic but was she?

"You are so fired up to get out there and put your life on the line that you'd take drugs and lie about it just to do it. Why is that?" he asked waiting for another answer

"Does there always have to be another why?" she asked looking straight forward.

"With you, it's little "Why" dolls stacked up inside bigger "Why" dolls." She looked up at him from where he was sitting as he trued to her

"Sorry, that's ethnically intensive. Look, the point is…"she interrupted him

"-I'm so glad there's a point."

"The point is you can stop using. You can get clean. You can even get your BP down to acceptable, but just 'cause you cure the symptom doesn't mean the disease goes away." He finished his sentence as he reached down to kiss her.

He put his hands on her face and kissed her on the lips expecting her to push him away from her, but she kissed him back instead. They both wanted it to last forever but both knowing it wouldn't happen.

"Alex-" he said breaking the kiss knowing he shouldn't have

"-You don't have to say anything Birkhoff. It doesn't mean anything." Still not caring what he said about the fact that they kissed as she was about to cry

"You know if you let me finish I was going to say that I care about you and I should be hones about the way I feel for you so… I really like you and you should know that. I know your still hung up on Sean but I don't care." She looked up at him for the first time since they kissed a minuet ago.

"Are you going to brake up with Sonya because you kissed me or because you like me?" She asked unsure of his answer. As he was walking away from her without looking back.

"Well yeah I'm going to brake up with Sonya. But come on Alex, it's not right to date someone when you're in love with someone else, and, i said "in love with", because I'm in love with you Alex." he said looking back at Alex.

As she sat in the corner of his eyes in shock ,but not from what he had said but to how he said it.


	2. A Confession Or Two

**A/N: Thank you everyone who has reviewed, followed and favorites I really appreciate it and here is the next chapter**

**Long Way Chapter 2: A Confession Or Two**

_"Are you going to brake up with Sonya because you kissed me or because you like me?" She asked unsure of his answer. As he was walking away from her without looking back._

_"Well yeah I'm going to brake up with Sonya. But come on Alex, it's not right to date someone when you're in love with someone else, and, i said "in love with", because I'm in love with you Alex." he said looking back at Alex._

_As she sat in the corner of his eyes in shock ,but not from what he had said but to how he said it._

_End of Flashback_

"Why should I be surprised the great Seymour Birkhoff only wants what he can't have right? First Nikita now me. And, you can't have me, so you want me. How transparent of you to think I would fall for this act," she said disgusted.

"Alex you know that's not true. I have wanted you for some time now. Even when you were with Boy Scout. I didn't say anything because I care about you, and I definitely didn't want you hating me because I ruined your relationship with the Navy Seal, I just care about you." He was done explaining. He had nothing more to say her to her.

"Do you know what it's like to watch you kiss Nikita and Sonya in the same day? It was torture to watch you kiss them while I was in love with you, and I still am. I just used Sean as a distraction while you were with Sonya. Do you know how hard it was to get over you all that time? While I was here in Division falling for you all over again? Remembering everything. I thought about the nights you were here with me. I was crying myself to sleep because you weren't here." She stared to cry.

"You fell for me all that time ago and you didn't tell me? Even when we sent you in to get information from that marshal? You didn't say anything, like I didn't care? Well, news flash Alex, I do care about you! More than anyone will ever know." He stared to yell in anger, like it was the last thing he could do to get through to her.

"I'm sorry Seymour. I didn't mean to piss you off. Ok, I didn't mean to. Look, I know I love you. I didn't like Thom or Nathan, only you, it was always you..."

"What about Sean?"

"I don't like Sean and I never will and never did."

"I still don't believe you."

"Why don't you believe me? Because I hid my feelings for you all this time, or because I was afraid of what they would do to you if they found out about what I felt for you?" she was still crying.

"What do you think they would have done to me Alex, huh, you think they would have gone easy on me? They wouldn't have. I'M NOT Sean so leave me alone Alex." It was over. He finally cracked.

"Seymour, I never said you were. I was just so worried about you. I never meant to hurt you." She started crying again but this time in his arms.

"No one ever dose." He baring his head in her shoulder.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you this long. I just didn't know how to tell you,"he looked back.

"Well you just told me you love me, that you're in love with me. Do you regret it at all, loving me?"he turned to hug her.

"No never I don't think that's possible." He was now hugging her to soffin her tears. How to help with no words was a challenge. But to just hold her was an accomplishment in it's self.


	3. How Will They React

**Long Way Chapter 3: How Will They React**

"_Well you just told me you love me that your in love with me. Do you regret it at all, loving me?" he turns to hug her_

_"__No never I don't think that's possible." He was now hugging her to soffin her tears. How_ to help with no words was a challenge. But to just hold her was an accomplishment in it's self.

**End of Flashback**

**Alex's P.O.V**

I just kissed Birkhoff and now I'm just about to brake up with Sean what a week it has been.

"Sean I kissed Birkhoff." I said nervously

"Why would you do that do all of a sudden have feelings for him that I never know about?" he sounded concerned.

"Yes, it's because I'm in love with him I always have been." I was now worried about how he would react to this particular confession my love for the nerd

"So you lied me the inter time we were together. You lied to me about what you felt for me everything while you were in love with Birkhoff? Never thought that would happen. But just know I'm going to kill that son of a bitch if he hurts you." He was in pure anger

"No, Sean it won't change anything I'll still love him like i do now. But I think he would probably kill you first. I mean come on he was in division longer then both of us put together. So he could kick your ass and you wouldn't even know it yet. But come on he is a teck geniuses after all." Supporting the man I loved. Just as I was about to leave he interrupted my thoughts

"Did you ever love me before Birkhoff?"

"I don't think I ever loved anyone as much as I love Birkhoff."

**Birkhoff 's P.O.V**

I walk in to the main floor of Division just after kissing Alex. Knowing she loves me back is all I can ask for, but know I have to tell Sonya it's going to brake her heart knowing not only I love Alex but that Alex loves me back. I walk up to Sonya. I need to brake up with her for my sake and for the sake for Alex.

"Hey Sonya can I talk to you for a seck?"

"What's the matter Seymour?"

"Nothing but I just need to talk to you...in privet."

"Ok let me just finish."

We walk to sub level 5. Knowing no one will be there at this time of the day.

"Look Sonya I have to tell you something and your not gana' to like it."

"What, is it about Amanda?"

"No, it it's not."

"Ok so then what is it? I can handle it Seymour, I'm a tough girl."

"No, Sonya you can't."

"What is it, it's not like you cheated on me." My face grew red as she said that and I was like I was still a hormonal teenager all over again.

"Why would you do that to me Seymour? Why do such horrible things?"

"I never ment to cheat on you. But I fell for her and I shouldn't have and when i did she was a recruit and i still love Alex now." i said that only to let my tong slip.

"YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY ALEX DID YOU? TELL ME SEYMOUR NOW!" My face grew even more red if that was even fiscally possible.

"It's her, you fell for her. You fell for Alex." I know it wasn't a question but she deserved to know the truth

"Yes I fell for Alex but it was before I know you before I started to care about you. But I no matter what I was always in love with her and she loves me back."

"What? Why? When? How? Because she was your first love?" they were all good questions but I didn't know how to answer them so I stayed silent. Letting her ask me questions I didn't have answers to. The next thing I know Alex was standing next to me only for Sonya to tactual her. So I had to break up the fight that was currently over me. Never in my life would I have thought that two the girls I care about were to fight over me.

"Girls stop it." I pulled Sonya off of Alex only for Alex to end up in my arms

"Well hello to you to Birkhoff." she said smiling like nothing could touch us but we were pulled back in to reality by Nikita's yelling.

"What is going on here?" Nikita said with Michael fallowing behind her.

'Tell them. Tell them what you told me." Sonya started to cry as she said that.

"Fine, Lex are you ok with me telling Michael and Nikita?"i said in a whisper to Alex

"Yeah they were going to find out some time." she reapplied

"Michael, Nikita we. As in me and Alex have something to tell you."

"He is using our full names so it must be important."

"Can I please finish?" I said sounding annoying and I know it.

"Ok, go ahead." Michael said as he leaned in closer to Nikita.

"Alex and I are dating." I said as I laced my hand with hers as she smiled at my action.

"Come on nerd don't play games with us. We know your lying." Nikita said smiling as if i was lying.

"Acutely Nikita he's not."

"Well I don't believe it." Michael said

"We can prove it to you. If you want?"

"Ok prove it to us." Michael said as he showed his teeth.

They wanted proof. They would get proof. So I take Alex by the wrist and kiss her on the lips only to be invited in to her mouth. Her arm snakes around my neck. We kiss as our tongs collide. Kissing as I held her slim waist in my hands. We both pull away at the same time. Both breathing heavy.

"God I love doing that." I said as she smiled leaning in to me as our foreheads touched.

"Me to." I peck her lips once more before looking at Michael and Niki knowing they were both in shock.

"Well I will let you two settle in your new discovery. Other than that I think it would be wise if Alex stay at my place. What do you think Lex?" i said calmly as i smiled

"I like that idea very much." We doth smile as we walk away hand in hand after I kiss the top of her head once.

We leave to go to my apartment and spend the night talking about everything. Like how long we have loved each other and where this relationship is going. But first thing first I have a date to plan in the near future.


	4. Acceptance and a Suicide Note Part 1

**A/N: So I now have a day of the week I will be updating, most likely Fridays. But not too sure and it also could be Saturdays maybe Sunday you never know. R&R**

**Long Way Chapter 4: Acceptance and a Suicide Note Part 1**

**Alex's P.O.V**

I awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. At first I thought that someone had kidnapped me but than I remembered what happened. How I had kissed Birkhoff and told him that I was in love with him for the first time. How I got into a fight with Sonya over Birkhoff. Also, Nikita and Michael now know that Birkhoff and I are dating. So soon after remembering the events from yesterday.

"Hello?" I asked only to here Nikita's voice.

"Alex is that you?"

"Yes, what is it Nikita? Did something happen in Division?"

"Yes but I think that I should tell you in person." Nikita sounded so sad like someone had died.

"Um ok I'll get Birkhoff up and we'll leave as soon as we can."

"Just get here as soon as you can and Alex…"

"Yes, Nikita?"

"I'm happy that you and Birkhoff have each other."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For supporting of me and my decision."

"Your welcome, but I need you and Birkhoff here as soon as possible"

"Ok, I will see if I can get him out of bed."

After Nikita and I said our goodbyes I had to wake Birkhoff up so I used the best way I know how. Soon after I started kissing Birkhoff on his cheek he woke up only to think I was a dream. So the first thing out of my mouth was,

"This is not a dream Seymour."

"How did you know I was even thinking that?"

"Because I know you like none else."

"Really?"

"Yes now get up or we will be late for work."

"What happened this time?"

"How do you immediately know something happened?"

"Because I just do."

**An hour later at Division**

Birkhoff and I walk into Division holding hands while everyone stares. To my surprise, over half of the agents look accepting. However, acceptance is not the reason we are here.

Next thing I see is Nikita talking to Michael as I overhear about a suicide note, which is the one thing that scares me more than anything. So, in fear, I hold onto Birkhoff's hand tighter.

Suddenly, Nikita turns around and says, "Thank god Alex, Birkhoff you're both here."

"What is it Nikki?" Birkhoff says as he scoffs.

"Sonya killed herself."

"Why would she do that? Because I broke up with her?" he says, shocked

"No, Sonya was Amanda's mole." Michael added

"How is that possible?" Birkhoff asks as he squinted his eyes

"I don't know, but all she left was a note. Birkhoff, it was addressed to you. I think you should read it."

I was in pure shock and it wasn't the good kind.

"I will Nikki, thanks." After Birkhoff said that Nikita left us to talk.

"So you're going to read the letter?" I ask

"I think I should, but it doesn't feel right."

"Ok. If you need me you know where to find me." I said

"Lexi" he says, stopping me, "thank you."

Smiling, I walk out of the room.

**Birkhoff 's P.O.V**

Soon after, I went to where the suicide note was being held too afraid to read what Sonya had written to me. I walked over there and started to read what she wrote to me.

Dear Seymour,

I know that even if you do not read this letter I just need to understand why you would hurt me in such a way? I know that you love Alex. Come to think of it I have always known it. Just from the way you looked at her. Just the way you were around her made it obvious. But there is something you must know. I am Amanda's mole. The whole time I wanted to tell you but she would have just killed me. I couldn't let that happen so instead I will kill myself. I hope Alex treats you right and even if I don't trust her with my life but I do however trust her with yours. So take care of each other. And just know that no matter what happens I will always be they're of you if you need me.

All My Love,

Sonya

Next Alex comes in. "Seymour we have to go, we got a call from Amanda."

"Ok Lex I will be right there."

We went back to the main level of Division only to see Amanda.

"So I see that you somehow figured out that Sonya was my mole. I'm very imprested Birkhoff that not only did you manage to make your ex-girlfriend kill herself, but you managed to move on just after her death."

"She killed herself because I'm in love with Alex, nothing, more." "Well how interesting, and Alex, how dose Sean feel about being betrayed by your relationship with Birkhoff." "It doesn't matter Amanda. I love Birkhoff and that's the end of it." Alex said half yelling.

**A/N: So this is just the first part but i will post the next part as soon as i can. XOXO - DElena 1864**


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